Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
