It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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