Yo dont text me then not text me
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize
