I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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