kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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