Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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