in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
