If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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