did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
