swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
