some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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