i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
