Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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