i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
