I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
