I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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