Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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