Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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