I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Someone signed my nipple.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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