Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
