Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
the condom got lost in my hair
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Randomize
