Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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