..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
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