Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
