We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
