Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
