All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
