Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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