Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Houston, we have a squirter
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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