jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
