Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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