dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I wanna passion pit in your ass
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
