Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
