Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
