If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
