I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
