some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
