Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
