Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
what day is it and did you see me today?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My dad is sitting where you rode me
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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