yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
