So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
PANTIES FOUND
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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