oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
