Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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