Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
pray to the hookup gods
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