fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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