I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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