I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
birth control should be required to get into college
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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