White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
i out mim tonsoeep
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
