She's JV to your varsity
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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