last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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